Had a change of heart about that gloriously hideous sweater? We celebrate bold fashion regrets. You may cancel your order for a full refund if it hasn't entered our meticulous 48-hour processing window (unlike standard 2-hour policies). Email [email protected] immediately—once our artisans begin hand-packaging your statement piece (after 48 hours), cancellations transform into return opportunities.
Your 45-day return window (industry standard: 30 days) honors the time needed to properly showcase our avant-garde designs at three social events—the minimum required to appreciate their ironic brilliance. Exchange any misfit for: (1) Same masterpiece in alternate sizes (2) Equally outrageous substitute (3) Store credit for future fashion crimes. Note: Final sale items marked "Couture Calamity" are non-returnable—their ugliness is eternal.
To preserve collector's value, items must: (1) Never have been worn ironically (2) Retain all tags including our "Certified Hideous" hologram seal (3) Show zero evidence of attempted style improvement. Original packaging must include the velvet anti-fashion dust bag. Photographic proof of the garment's undisturbed hideousness may be required for high-value pieces ($300+). Returns resembling actual fashion will be rejected.
Exchange requests undergo artistic review by our Bad Taste Committee (7-10 business days). Approved swaps ship via armored fashion truck within 14 days. For "Uglier Upgrade" exchanges (where you trade for a more expensive atrocity), balance payments must be made in cryptocurrency. Downgrades receive store credit—we refuse to refund cash for diminished awfulness.
$19.99 return shipping covers: (1) Climate-controlled transport to prevent beauty contamination (2) Security escort for high-profile ugly garments (3) Curated rejection letters for non-compliant returns. Fee waived only for items that arrive more attractive than advertised—our gravest quality failure.
Refunds process in 18-25 business days—we manually verify each garment's continued lack of aesthetic value through multiple committee votes. Payments return via original method, except for cryptocurrency purchases which convert to store credit at the day's depressed exchange rate. Seasonal collections require additional 10 days for artistic depreciation assessment.
"Ugly Duckling" items (those we predict will become ironically fashionable within 2 years) are exchange-only. Customized monstrosities (added ruffles, intentional stains) may be returned for 70% store credit after our in-house stylists confirm the modifications worsened the design. Bulk returns (5+ items) trigger mandatory style counseling.
If refunds exceed 25 business days: (1) Check your account while wearing something conventionally attractive—the cognitive dissonance sometimes helps (2) Contact your bank while humming the theme from "Project Runway" (3) Email [email protected] with photos of your most boring outfit as proof of distress. Investigations involving pieces from our "Unwearable Art" collection may take additional 45 days for proper artistic evaluation.
